Just when I think we’re really turning a corner, that maybe The Boy doesn’t have Aspergers after all, that maybe he’s just got a few quirks, and maybe just some random behavioral stuff that we’re fixing, he regresses & picks up some new undesired behavior: Licking. Me, my clothes, his clothes, The Husband, the cat, the furniture & chews / sucks on his clothes & blankets. This came out of nowhere. As did the periodic biting. The Boy just bit my arm something awful – I seriously wanted to cry. He felt bad about it, too. Like I’ve said before, sometimes I think he just can’t control his body.
We’ve had a string of “good” days, where I see lots of “good” choices, (we’re constantly using the phrase “make good choices” with him, so he understands the difference.) Like, on Christmas, we were so impressed with how wonderfully well-behaved he was at Grandma’s house, with his two younger cousins – hands to himself & taking breaks when he needed to have some alone time.
And then we hit a bump in the road & a “wild” & “challenging” day, like today … Maybe it was the excitement of the holidays? Maybe it was being cooped up in this house for the past couple of days, since it’s been way too cold & windy to go outside. And my little Aspie doesn’t want to venture out to play usually. Outside play is something I have to sort of force, unless it’s the park, and quite frankly, I just wasn’t in the mood to do anything more than “suggest.” In any case, I can sit here and rack my brain for hours trying to figure out what triggers things in him. It isn’t his diet, it isn’t lack of sleep, it isn’t being around other kids … what then? I. Don’t. Know. That’s all I can conclude.
So I crack open my books & read, then log on to the laptop and search. “Licking.” Sensory issues, hypo-sensory stuff, not getting enough through the senses that they need more input. Well, maybe. Yes, The Boy often craves more sensory input, and that’s why he rams into me, crashes into us, furniture, jumps around on the floor & hangs upside down, but I wonder if some of it isn’t him mimicking our cats? Or because I jokingly told him a few weeks back that I was going to bite off his cute little nose. Here again, I don’t know. And the “not knowing” for me is so frustrating that I want to cry. I just want to know why, so that I can find the best way to help the situation.
And then there’s the potty training again. One day he is marvelous – no accidents, goes when I tell him it’s time to take a potty break, (of course with “treats” being promised afterward, or threats of me taking away a toy when the treats won’t work,) or he will actually listen to his body & tell US when he needs to go. The next day, it’s all out flinging himself on the floor melt-downs when I tell him it’s time to take a potty break. Coaxing, promising treats, threatening to take away toys – nothing will work!! I don’t understand why one day is so different from the next. Am I the only mother of an Aspie who is constantly asking herself WHY? Why the big shifts in his progress? I just don’t know.
Two steps forward and one step back. I guess that’s just the way things go in his world. I’m going to have to learn to accept that & not be so analytical about the “why,” lest I drive myself nuts in the process! Funny thing is, he says “two steps forward one step back … that’s how you dance” to me a lot. (He picked up the line from Madagascar 3, by the way.) So I guess this is our dance, me & The Boy. Two steps forward, one step back.
the fairly good mother 