My Little Towheaded Parrot

I just love this Boy.  He’s my little parrot.  He started about a year ago, shortly after he turned two.  It was cute until …

“Goddamnit.”  He would chirp out of nowhere.  Parenting Fail.  Just awesome.

Where did he pick that up, you ask?  Oh, I blame the NFL … and The Husband.  Every Sunday since The Boy was born, we religiously watch football all day long.  Monday nights as well, and lots of Thursday nights, too.  I’m sure he heard his Dad saying that hundreds of times during a Steelers game.

It was kind of funny the first couple of times he did it & we laughed – I mean, come on a baby cussing is funny –  and The Boy enjoyed the reaction, which only encouraged him to repeat it again.  Everyone else laughed too, his Grandparents, his Aunts & Uncles, and then it stopped being funny when he wouldn’t stop.  It stopped being funny when he’d screech it at the top of his lungs in the grocery store or in his religious day school.

I admonished the grown-ups.  “Stop encouraging him by reacting!”

We tried to correct it.  The discipline began … I tried to get him to stop by explaining it was a “naughty” word.  Didn’t work.  I told him, “We don’t say ‘Goddamnit, we say ‘Gosh Darnit.”

“No say Goddamnit, mama, I say Gosh Darnit.”  He’d parrot back to me, proud that he understood the difference.  Face Palm.

Then I tried giving him time-outs when he said it.  Also didn’t work.

I flicked his cheek with my finger a couple of times.  Didn’t work.

I ignored it when he said it.  Didn’t work.  But I kept on ignoring and reminding him that it was a naughty word that isn’t nice to say.  Eventually he stopped saying it because it no longer got a reaction from people.

However, looking back, it was really kind of hysterical when he would bust it out appropriately, as a perfect response in certain situations, with the under-the-breath mutterings of a disgruntled toddler:   ME: “No, Boy, you may not have another cookie, you’ve already had four!”   HIM: “Goddamnit.”  I literally had to turn my back and stifle my laughter.  And that gleam in his eye let ME know that HE knew that I thought it was cute.

After the whole “GD” incident, we were extra careful of the things we’d say.  And the parroting got really cute … His responses to stuff are a parroting of my responses, or from movies, tv shows, or other people in his life.

ME: “Boy, can I have a bite of your cheese?”
The BOY: “Oh, of course you can!”

ME: “Boy, would you like some more milk?”
The BOY:  “No, thank you, I’m good for now.”

ME: “Boy, you are supposed to be napping in there, quiet down!”
The BOY: “Uh, no, sorry, I can’t do that right now!”

The BOY: “Mama, did you just go potty?”
ME: “Yes, I sure did.”
The BOY:  “Oh, you did?!?!  Umi-riffic, you’re a good girl, mama.”  (note: umi-riffic comes from the show Team Umizoomi, a favorite of The Boy’s.)

The BOY: “Mama, I don’t like that behavior, I’m gonna give you a time out!”

I particularly adore when he busts out movie quotes – either out of the blue, or in response to something.  The reason I adore this is because both my husband and I are in the entertainment industry & regularly quote movies as part of our daily conversation, so to hear our son do it brings us immense joy.  He’s one of us.  And sometimes I have to ask him, “Who said that?”  Because he’s really good at obscure quotes.

Just today, we’re walking down the hall to go to his room and he rambles on with this little gem: “You blockhead! You kept me up all night waiting for the Great Pumpkin, and all that came was a beagle! I didn’t get a chance to go out for tricks or treats. And it was all your fault! What a fool I was!! What a fool I was!! Trick or treats come only once a year, and I missed it sitting in a pumpkin patch with a blockhead.”

It’s the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

So, in my mind, this totally makes up for the GD incident.   My three-year old son loves The Peanuts just as much as I loved them when I was a little girl, (only I couldn’t quote their lines verbatim.)  And when they use the word “stupid” (which I never knew until I became a mom is actually quite frequently,) He pipes up with “Mama, stupid is a naughty word!”  See, vindication.  Yep, I’m one proud mama.

Poo-Poo Is Different Than Chocolate Ice Cream … Adventures In Potty Training








We’ve been potty training The Boy going on 3 months.  It’s definitely been a process.  And a longer one than I had anticipated.  Is it more difficult because of Asperger Syndrome?  Perhaps.  Or maybe it’s just his personality.  Or maybe it’s a little of both.

How I thought it was going to go:

  1. Say bye-bye to diapers … “this is the last pack of diapers we’re buying!  Woohoo, more money for wine!”
  2. Skip the pull-ups because it wicks the moisture away so he isn’t uncomfortable when he’s had an accident.
  3. Buy cute “Big Boy Undies”
  4. Get a small pack of m&m’s as treats for every time he goes potty – should take 1 week, so we’ll only need a small bag.

How it really went:

  1. Bought last pack of diapers, then had to run out and buy more … have been continuing to purchase diapers for the past 3 months, no extra money in wine fund.
  2. Use pull-ups on occasion (in the beginning it was for long car rides or days spent away from the house for more than a few hours at a time,) and naps
  3. Did purchase cute big boy undies!  And then more!
  4. Invested in 2 large bags of m&m’s … also on hand, mini cookies & jellybeans.

He’s pretty good with the pee-pee … It only took him 2 weeks to graduate from the potty chair to standing up and using the big potty.  Now, we have to remind him when it’s time to go & then give him a 5 minute warning before we take a “potty break.” We set the timer on the iPhone.  Then he usually fights me, because he doesn’t want to stop what he’s doing to take the 30 seconds it takes to go pee.  When he does, he is very proud of himself.

My big recommendation is to use a small size underwear with thicker, more absorbent trainer pants over the undies.  It still allows him to feel the discomfort of being wet, but it usually can save you from having to clean up a huge mess on the floor.

Poop is an entirely different beast.  Despite my big bag of mystery poo-poo presents (I even unwrapped them a week after wrapping them, so that he might be enticed,) he just doesn’t want to go poop on the toilet.  Fine.  I told him that he should just tell me that he needs to poop and we can put a pull-up on.  He will often wait until we put the nap pull-up on so that he can poop in that, but more often than not, he will just go in his undies.

Do you know how gross it is to clean out poopie undies?  Lawd!  I am gagging as I do it, trying not to make a big deal out of it, but YUCK!  Can anyone tell me why is it so much nastier than when he goes in a diaper?  Do you know how many undies I’ve just thrown out because I can’t deal?  And those suckers are not cheap!  I even tried putting him in a diaper on the toilet so that he can see how it feels, but inevitably, he will sit there and sit there and sit there & tell me he doesn’t have to go.  Then 2 seconds later, he is in his playroom being too quiet & viola!  Poop.

So I bring him back in the bathroom to show him that poop goes in the toilet … we push it out of the undies & into the bowl.  He looks at it for a second & then remarks insightfully, “Poo poo is different than chocolate ice cream, mama.”  I had to just laugh.  Why yes it is son, it most certainly is.  I also explained that poo poo is yucky & ice cream is yummy & we should never ever eat poop.  Sigh.  Being a mom is fun 😀

Here are two videos that really helped us in the beginning … he still enjoys watching them: Bear In The Big Blue House:  Potty Time With Bear (There’s also a book with the same name, that tells the same story.)  And Potty Power, (kids love to see other kids doing stuff they want to do.)

Good luck in your bathroom adventures!  As long as they’re potty trained by the time they enter kindergarten, I think it’s all fine.

Funny of the Day …


The Boy says funny stuff all the time, but this one really caught me off guard.  I’m always telling him, reminding him, sometimes nagging him to “be a good listener.”

So we’re in the car & driving to his OT appointment, he knows where we’re going, we go every Friday afternoon, and as I’m about to make a U-Turn to park in front of the offices, he starts demanding that I “turn left” so we can “go to the park.”

There’s no park anywhere around here, and I tell him that and remind him of where we’re going.  We go back and forth, he is demanding and argumentative.  After several go arounds, I decide to just ignore him & make the U-Turn when there’s a break in traffic.

From the backseat, I hear him mutter to himself, “Mama’s not being a good listener.”

I couldn’t help but to laugh out loud & ask, “what did you say?”

“I said you’re not being a good listener.” He replies.

“Oh, why do you say that?” I was curious to see how my 3 year old would respond.

“Because you didn’t turn left to go to the park when I told you to.” Well, he was actually right, you know.

Sigh … he is too funny sometimes.