Waiting for the Blood

Kind of crass, yah?  So what.  If you’re a cool chick, you get it and won’t care.  If you’re a prude or a dude, you probably will care & you should stop reading now.

“Fear that which bleeds without being wounded.” (an old Celtic saying … I’m fairly certain that many other tribes all over the globe have said the same thing for thousands of years.)

Yes, fear me.  Lots of people do for at least one week out of the month.  Every month.  I made this little meme the other night  and posted it to my facebook page.  One of my ex-boyfriends that I’m friends with “liked” it … I wasn’t sure whether to be amused or annoyed.  Since I’m about to bleed, I chose “annoyed.”

7-10 days before I start to bleed I’m mean, emotional, crabby, tired, impatient & easily irritated.  I am bloated, headachy, nauseous, my intestines are not happy & I generally just want to eat pizza, cookie dough, french fries & make brownies so that I can eat the batter as though it were soup.

It’s the same thing every month.  You’d think that people (*cough cough* The Husband,) would write this shit down on a calendar somewhere, and either steer clear of me, or push a plate of mashed potatoes under the bedroom door as an offering to the PMS Beast.

Actually, it’s PMDD.  But no one even knows what that is, so I just say PMS.  PMDD is like PMS on steroids.  It’s not fun.  Unless you are taking a self-defense class & can beat the crap out of the instructor, (who is hopefully dressed in that Stay-Puff-Marshmallow rubber suit,) because you paid to, or if you take your anger to the shooting range and fire bullets at a target sheet.  Then it can be fun.  Sort of.

But I can’t do either of those, so I go online and make memes.  And write ranting blog posts.  And yell at people.  And make cookies just to eat the cookie dough … yeah, even with the raw eggs in there.  I like live on the edge while I’m waiting to bleed.