Just so we’re all clear about this fact, I hate Coscto as much as I hate Walmart.  But while Walmart is NOT a necessary evil, Costco unfortunately is.  I go there because we roll through paper towels like a Sumo wrestler with diarrhea.   Like we can blow through 3 rolls in a day sometimes, (3 cats and a preschooler = puke piss and poop!) but the average is a roll a day.  (That’s the one thing about parenting they don’t mention in any books:  Paper Towels are a staple!)

What do I hate more than going to Costco?  Rude mo-fo’s up in Costco.  I have a system, you see.  I try to get there at 9:48am (they open to the public at 10am,) so I can avoid the general public.  I’m nice and they know me, so they let me in a little early.  I’m a Costco Ninja – I can be in and out in under 18 minutes before most people are parking their cars.

But, the other day I had to go in the afternoon.  3:44 to be exact.  The place is jam packed with slow-walkers scouring the place for free-bees, hungry grey hairs & couples who think that Costco is the perfect romantic setting to take a leisurely stroll while holding hands and lackadaisically pushing their carts.

I gritted my teeth and tried to muscle the cart around a large man shuffling in front of me, chomping on an egg roll.  He CLEARLY saw me out of his peripheral vision, as I tried to maneuver around him, and just to be “that guy” (a nice way of saying arse hole,) he made sure that I couldn’t get past him.  THEN, he crumpled his egg roll wrapper and tossed it on the ground.  As though the “help” would be by any moment to pick up his trash!

I felt my blood pressure rising as I leaned into The Boy, (who had also witnessed this man littering,) and whispered to him, “that man is rude. It’s rude to litter.”  At least if I was going to be stuck behind Mr. Heart-Attack-Waiting-to-Happen, I was going to use it as a teaching moment.  The Boy agreed.  And about 25 seconds later, I was able to dodge between him and 3 other carts.

As we passed him, The Boy looked at him and proclaimed in a clear voice, “You’re rude.”  I nearly peed my pants!  Oh geez.  The man either didn’t hear him, or English wasn’t his first language because he smiled at The Boy & said hello.  The Boy scowled at the litterbug & repeated himself.  “You’re rude.  It’s not nice to litter.”  The little tow-headed parrot strikes again!

I quickly high-tailed it down the next aisle, laughing and kissing The Boy on the head.  I explained that sometimes we cannot tell people what we’re thinking even though it might be the truth.  We talked for a minute about why we don’t litter & why we need to remember to never come to Costco after 10:30am.