Just so we’re all clear about this fact, I hate Coscto as much as I hate Walmart. But while Walmart is NOT a necessary evil, Costco unfortunately is. I go there because we roll through paper towels like a Sumo wrestler with diarrhea. Like we can blow through 3 rolls in a day sometimes, (3 cats and a preschooler = puke piss and poop!) but the average is a roll a day. (That’s the one thing about parenting they don’t mention in any books: Paper Towels are a staple!)
What do I hate more than going to Costco? Rude mo-fo’s up in Costco. I have a system, you see. I try to get there at 9:48am (they open to the public at 10am,) so I can avoid the general public. I’m nice and they know me, so they let me in a little early. I’m a Costco Ninja – I can be in and out in under 18 minutes before most people are parking their cars.
But, the other day I had to go in the afternoon. 3:44 to be exact. The place is jam packed with slow-walkers scouring the place for free-bees, hungry grey hairs & couples who think that Costco is the perfect romantic setting to take a leisurely stroll while holding hands and lackadaisically pushing their carts.
I gritted my teeth and tried to muscle the cart around a large man shuffling in front of me, chomping on an egg roll. He CLEARLY saw me out of his peripheral vision, as I tried to maneuver around him, and just to be “that guy” (a nice way of saying arse hole,) he made sure that I couldn’t get past him. THEN, he crumpled his egg roll wrapper and tossed it on the ground. As though the “help” would be by any moment to pick up his trash!
I felt my blood pressure rising as I leaned into The Boy, (who had also witnessed this man littering,) and whispered to him, “that man is rude. It’s rude to litter.” At least if I was going to be stuck behind Mr. Heart-Attack-Waiting-to-Happen, I was going to use it as a teaching moment. The Boy agreed. And about 25 seconds later, I was able to dodge between him and 3 other carts.
As we passed him, The Boy looked at him and proclaimed in a clear voice, “You’re rude.” I nearly peed my pants! Oh geez. The man either didn’t hear him, or English wasn’t his first language because he smiled at The Boy & said hello. The Boy scowled at the litterbug & repeated himself. “You’re rude. It’s not nice to litter.” The little tow-headed parrot strikes again!
I quickly high-tailed it down the next aisle, laughing and kissing The Boy on the head. I explained that sometimes we cannot tell people what we’re thinking even though it might be the truth. We talked for a minute about why we don’t litter & why we need to remember to never come to Costco after 10:30am.